Trip Summary; as told by Tim Pask

Photo by Tim Pask

Week 1
I arrive to find Chris recovering from some nasty bug he picked up from a street vendor a few days earlier. Most of the blood vessels in his eyes are shattered and I wonder how hard one would have to puke in order to basically explode your eyes. Well at least we won’t be staying in UB where it appears we would all be subjected to food poisoning on a daily basis.

I am feeling good about my gear, as I am completely equipped for the winter steelhead conditions we will soon find ourselves in.

Photo by Tim Pask


A short helicopter trip finds us in camp with Justin, Brian and Auggie. We soon begin our exploration at the Russian boarder. It seems a bit warm and I am looking for a T-Shirt to wear, but no Luck!

Somebody in the group smells already. I think it is Chris, but it could be the van driver or perhaps even the cook. Chris says he can’t smell the overwhelming BO, but I suspect he is lying.

Taimen fishing is going to be easy!!

Week 2
Everyone but me stinks and I wonder how they can live with themselves. I have been skipping breathes in order to not have to inhale the foul stench that seems to follow the group.

Our beer supply seems to be dwindling faster the expected, so we send the drivers off for more beer when ever we are within 50k of a small village. We never get any change from the drivers, so I suspect they are saving it for us and will surely put it towards our next beer run.

Photo by Tim Pask

We notice some nasty meat lying around in a cardboard box. Good thing we aren’t eating it, as it must surely be rotten by now.

We are all picking up the Mongolian language with ease. I know it’s amazing but one of the drivers is named “What’s Up” and the other is named “Monday”. It is even stranger that out woman cook is named “Two Man”. If you ever find yourself in a group of Mongolia’s and you want to make a toast, the correct expression is “Good Dog”. Simply replace the word “Cheers” with “Good Dog” and you’re sure to be a big hit in most social circles.

Photo by Tim Pask

Photo by Tim Pask

I seem to be the slowest runner in the group, as I was stung 3 times when we walked past a yellow jackets nest. It was Chris’s idea to go that way, and I wonder if he knew it was along the way. Not to mention that once we stopped running he beat the remaining 12 yellow jackets off me with a stick. Just in case you are wondering I don’t recommend following Chris Owens anywhere regardless of the continent or promised outcome.

It is hot and everyone but me is wearing shorts and wet wading. I’ll be well prepared when the winter steelhead conditions roll around.

Taimen fishing is going to be fairly easy.

Week 3
The BO is gone and I have no explanation as to where. Chris has a theory that after a certain period of time your body either absorbs the smell or simply stops expelling it. Either way it’s good that one of the world’s nastiest smells has somehow vanished and we are all daisy fresh.

The Mongolian’s are not as diverse as we seem to be when it comes to picking up a new language and we learned that they have names for us. Brian is “Calm Man”, Justin is “Pretty Boy”, and Chris apparently looks like some Russian actor who always plays a psychopathic killer of sorts so he has assumed the “Russian Killer” handle. I find myself with the boring name of “Beard Man” but the good news is that the cook is not looking at me with the same eyes she is giving Justin. I’d be scared, very scared.

Photo by Tim Pask

Photo by Tim Pask

Chris found five bottles of Vodka behind the driver’s seat. He must be planning on taking it home with him after our journey. It seemed like the good brand and we could not afford to buy it ourselves. The drivers must make a lot of money in Mongolia.

The Calm Man saves us at least once a day, and does remain calm while doing it, so perhaps there is some method to their naming scheme.

That box of meat continues to follow us around. The flies are so thick I think they could carry it off. Our friends the yellow jackets are eating their fair share as well. Once again I am glad we aren’t eating that, as we would surely be projectile vomiting in all directions.

I’ve used Chris’s big ass Gerber knife to cut some pant legs off, as it’s been in the 80’s most everyday. The sunscreen is much more coveted that the fleece that lines my bags. It may be hot during the day, but at least it drops well below freezing at night.

Photo by Tim Pask

Taimen fishing could be a little harder then I thought.

Week 4
I have lost track of how many times the “Calm Man” has saved me. “Pretty Boy” is staying 20 meters away from the cook at all times (don’t blame him), and Chris is having the time of his life. Auggie surely thinks we are all nuts, but goes out of his way to shelter us from the scorn of our drivers and the cook who have good reason to pretty much hate us by now.

Justin alerts us in the middle of our diner that the dreaded box of rotten meat that seems to follow us around is actually what we are eating. Everyone but Chris runs out and pukes up contents of what we had all just inhaled. I thought it tasted a little sour!!! A few hours later Chris begins to puke… What followed was not pretty and I’ll let you image how the next 24 hours went. Oh yea, never, ever in a million years travel to strange destinations in the world without your Cipro.

Monday somehow lost 3 ½ bottles of his vodka. He must have been pissed off about it, as he through a fit and was unable to walk, let alone drive. We had a bit of a tussle keeping him from behind the wheel. We finally put him in the other van and gave him a few beers to settle him down. He must have been okay with it, as he was soon asleep. After getting supplies the next day the driver apparently found his vodka as his bag was once again full. I hoped he didn’t loose it again, as he sure seemed to go crazy once it was misplaced.

Photo by Tim Pask

Photo by Tim Pask

The “Russian Killer”, “Pretty Boy” and “Calm Man” all seemed to love the adventure. Personally my fu@%@#^^% back was killing me, my liquid diet of beer and anything out of a box, can or plastic container was wearing thin. Well at least I’d make it back to UB where Thad would soon join the crew and I’d be off to the good old USA, where we only have to worry about high taxes and bad politics. I wonder what Thad’s Mongolian name will be?????

Oh I almost forgot. Taimen fishing is impossible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask
Photo by Tim Pask